The Washington Post had a contest, in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem...except that the last line had to be as unromantic.... as the first line was romantic.
(These are really really funny!)
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was p*ssed.
5. I thought that I could love no other
That is, until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you
But the roses are wilting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************
