Wednesday

Sarcastic Love Poems



The Washington Post had a contest, in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem...except that the last line had to be as unromantic.... as the first line was romantic.

(These are really really funny!) 

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life. 

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming. 

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not. 

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was p*ssed. 

5. I thought that I could love no other
That is, until I met your brother. 


6. Roses are red 
violets are blue 
sugar is sweet 
and so are you

But the roses are wilting 
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty 
and so is your head 

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face. 

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way? 

10. My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go to hell." 

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime 
AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... ******************************************* Bookmark and Share

Sunday

Why Do Men Need Man Caves

Why does a man want a Man Cave


We’ll explain man caves once you 

explain the need to own 

3953489234698 pairs of shoes.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************
Bookmark and Share

Saturday

A Middle Aged Woman, Plastic Surgery and God

A Middle Aged Woman, Plastic Surgery and God

A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”
God said,”No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live”.

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital

and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come

in and change her hair colour. Since she had so

much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home,

she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

“I thought you said I had
another 40 years?

Why didn’t you pull me out

of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... ******************************************* Bookmark and Share