I clean the toilet!

"Whenever I get mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do you manage to control your temper?"

"I just go and clean the toilet."

"How does that help?"

"I use your tooth brush!"

and that's when the fight started...

*******************************************

The LOVE DRESS JOKE

THE LOVE DRESS -Funny Email Joke about Old Age

THE LOVE DRESS A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked. ‘I’m waiting for Justin to come home from work.’ the daughter-in-law answered. ‘ But you’re naked!’ the mother-in-law exclaimed. ‘This is my love dress,’ the daughter-in-law explained. ‘Love dress? But you’re naked!’ ‘Justin loves me to wear this dress,’ she explained. ‘Every time he sees me in this dress he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.’ The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. ‘ What are you doing?’ he asked.. ‘This is my love dress,’ she whispered sensually. ‘Needs ironing,’ he said, ‘What’s for dinner? and that’s when the fight started…

*******************************************

YOU’VE GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE!

*A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

‘Not a chance,’ says the husband, ‘it is 3:00 in the morning!’

He slams the door and returns to bed.

‘Who was that?’ asked his wife.

‘Just some drunk guy asking for a push,’ he answers.

‘Did you help him?’ she asks.

‘No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!’

‘Well, you have a short memory,’ says his wife. ‘Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!’

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, ‘Hello, are you still there?’

‘Yes,’ comes back the answer.

‘Do you still need a push?’ calls out the husband..

‘Yes, please!’ comes the reply from the dark.

‘Where are you?’ asks the husband.

‘Over here on the swing,’ replied the drunk.*

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Things you don't say to your wife...

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Beautiful women can be bad for your health, according to scientists

I told my wife,"I guess I don't have anything to worry about!?"


AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... 
*******************************************

Maxine's husband's Gift For Mother's Day

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************

Worst Gifts for Mother's Day

A toaster - never

Or any Household Appliances

Exercise Equipment - sends the wrong message!

Breakfast in Bed - Bad, messy idea!

Lottery Tickets - $2 ticket not too thoughtfull. Chance of winning-nill!

Email card - can't replace the good old real card.

Bath sets - don't you just hate how they pile up under the sink!?

Yard Tools - no way!

New BBQ - it's the only break a woman gets when the guy cooks. Who is the gift rreally for?

Pets - can you believe it?

A list of things you will do for her. - never happens!

A Mug - how many does she need?

Toilet Bowl Brush - can you imagine?

New dust mop or vacuum cleaner - just as bad

Nothing,  because,"You"re not my Mother ." 

AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED... *******************************************